When I was a recent college graduate working at an advertising agency in New York City, a senior production director ignored my instructions on a project. After I returned to find it done differently, I requested he āredo it the way I asked yesterday.ā Knowing heād be annoyed, I raced back to my department to self-report to my boss. When I arrived, I heard him on the phone saying, āWell, why didnāt you do it the way she asked?ā
Trust is essential in any successful relationship whether family, friend, or coworker. In a professional setting, learning whom to trust can be particularly challenging given its potential economic and career impact. Thatās especially true today. As hierarchal organizations give way to more autonomous ways of working, trust is critical. Fewer in-person experiences also can make it harder to read between the lines.
In his bookĀ The Speed of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey describes it this way:
āTrust is a function of two things: character and competence. Character includes your integrity, your motive, your intent with people. Competence includes your capabilities, your skills, your results, your track record. And both are vital.ā
Iād add a third component: consistency. Trust is reinforced or undermined based on past behavior. Itās an important frame of reference. Together, character, competence, and consistency represent the essential elements of trust.
āTrust remains the ultimate human currency,ā said ServiceNow CEO Bill McDermott in aĀ recent video. Still even as CEOs and other leaders talk frequently about trust and transparency, employees are too often experiencing something quite different. In a recent LinkedIn poll, I asked how often people have found colleagues or managers to be untrustworthy and only 3% said never. Fifty-one percent said five or more times, and the remainder said one to three times. Interestingly the percentages for each category didnāt vary during the three-day poll, whether there were 20 votes or 200.
Such results are not surprising given the growing number of books attempting to help us deal with this reality such asĀ Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them,Ā The No Asshole Rule:Ā Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isnāt,Ā orĀ Office Jerks: Character Guide and How to Handle Them.
Sadly, I must place myself into the five or more category as well. As a person who prides herself on honesty and transparency, Iāve learned the hard way thereās quite a few others who prefer to operate in darkness. I recall how one former colleague, senior to me, was spreading false information about me to top leaders at our company. I only found out because one of those leaders approached me to offer advice. Thereās certainly been more than one boss who held out promotions as incentives and never delivered or explained why. And the list goes on.
It would be easy to say donāt trust anyone at work, but that often requires more work and denies us the opportunity to build rewarding relationships. So many close friends wouldnāt be part of my life if we hadnāt met at work. So how do you strike a balance? Hereās some advice:
BE ON YOUR GUARD
It might sound silly, but my dog is amazing at this. Take Lucy to a dog park and she hangs back on the sidelines, observing the other dogs before deciding whether to play and with whom. She does not rush into the pack nor does she try to engage more than one dog at a time. Itās wonderful to find a close friend at work whom you can trust, but it likely will be just a few and it will take time.
SEEK TO UNDERSTAND
I heard former PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi share theĀ adviceĀ to āassume positive intentā years ago and it stayed with me. Itās also part of some very effective training I received at Lockheed Martin about havingĀ Crucial Conversations. How often does something happen and you make up a story in your head about why it happened, assuming motives that may or may not be accurate? What if you assumed positive intent instead and sought to understand the other personās perspective? Your approach to that conversation would be entirely different.
Iāve seen it work. During my time as a reporter at Bloomberg News, a new colleague joined the team and started cutting me out of stories. After a few weeks of being increasingly annoyed, I invited him to coffee to discuss how we could work together better. He shared he was trying to prove himself to the editors and break into a well-regarded team. With that understanding, we developed an amazing partnership that allowed us both to succeed and become trusted friends.
ELEVATE TO A NEUTRAL PARTY
BE SOMEONE TRUSTWORTHY
In the case of my younger self, I learned two lessons in trust that day. First, the senior production director admitted to my boss he thought I didnāt know what I was asking for because I was young and inexperienced. Instead of making a unilateral change, he couldāve double-checked and discussed it with me. And my boss, who remains a dear friend after all these years, demonstrated what it means to have someoneās back unconditionally.
No business, organization, or team can succeed without trust. Trust in leadership, trust in the business strategy, and trust in each other to do the right thing. Each is interdependent on the other but none so critical as relationship trust.
Iāve often said of leadership: āTo lead, you need followers. To have followers, they need to trust you. To trust you, they need to know you.ā And hopefully through that process, they learn youāre worthy of their trust.
Anne Marie Squeo is CEO and founder ofĀ Proof Point Communications,Ā a boutique marketing and communications firm,Ā and a former Pulitzer Prize-winning business journalist.Ā